Fortress of Solitude

Writing is actually happening for the first time in what feels like months. I’m writing at least five hundred words a day on my ‘writer’s retreat’ here in the hospital, but usually much more. This isn’t to say that these words are flowing with little effort.

Have you ever had a break from writing and picked it up again to feel that you are a tad bit rusty? I’ll admit that it’s been tricky to get my head back into a writing space. Not because of noise (it’s actually surprisingly quiet for a maternity ward. The rooms are exceptionally well soundproofed!). Not because of distractions. But simply because it’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and given myself the time to write. Waiting patiently at the computer for words to come instead of giving up at the first sign of struggle. 

We’ve all had those days where we open our laptops, face the blank page and say, ‘nope.’ But I’ve found that being here has helped. There’s nothing else vying for my attention. Nothing I want to do more. So I sit, and wait. The words come, and they are not the perfect words. But I write them anyway, in the hopes that I can find something worthwhile to these words in the edits. There are pieces that I like, and pieces that I don’t. I celebrate them all, because they are written!

Clearly, things are a little strange here in Sarah-land. I was admitted mid-March, and will likely be here until around mid-April. Every doctor and nurse who comes asks if I’m bored yet. The answer? Sort of. Sometimes I have times where I don’t really feel like writing, or reading, or doing Sudoku or any of it at all. 

But, I do feel very fortunate. I have a nice large private room, with a decent view from my seventh-story window that catches the sunrise in the morning. My own bathroom. Food is… um, average, but it’s certainly better than what hospital food could be, so I can hardly complain. In fact, I was expecting a strict, healthy diet, but that’s not what it’s been like. I think I’ll put on a bit of weight here though (other than pregnancy weight) simply by the fact that I can have chocolate cake EVERY DAY. No, I’m not kidding. And, it’s really good chocolate cake too. 

So, though a month in hospital may be no one’s idea of a picnic, I’m doing all right. I may be missing a bit of variety in my life, but it is reassuring to know that if anything happens, I’m in the right place. 

P.S. I did finally finish my crochet bunny! Unfortunately I embroidered her eyebrows on slightly too much of a slant, so she does look rather worried, which has caused several spontaneous fits of laughter from me whenever I look in her overly-concerned direction. Everyone says it gives her ‘character’ though, and it would be a pain to fix, so, we have an anxious bunny forever-more. But hey, my little girl will hopefully love all the worry out of her contracted eyebrows, and we all get anxious sometimes! Bunny stuffies are no different.